To O.C. “-“ Squadron.
I have the honour to submit my report on the circumstances whereby G.M.C. 6535953 was the subject of a misuse report on 30th May 1949.
This vehicle is not (as you are undoubtedly aware) on charge to my troop. The standard of maintenance in the other troop concerned (need I say more) is by no means up to the same standard as the very high one set by my troop. In fact, it was only because four of my remaining seven vehicles were off the road that I had to take this vehicle out on patrol.
Halfway between Ulu Temerloh and Batu Kangsar, this vehicle broke down.
It was then that the alleged misuse occurred. Unfortunately, I was not in touch with R.H.Q. by wireless, owing to the incompetence of the R.H.Q. operators who had failed to keep in touch with my patrol.
Immediately I took up defensive positions and then investigated the cause of the breakdown. This was not difficult. It is a wonder to me that the vehicle ever went at all.
However, I approached the problem in a scientific manner as laid down from time to time, and succeeded in stripping down the petrol and ignition systems for examination. You will understand that in the heat of the day and in fear for my life this was no mean feat and I am certain no one could have achieved the desired effect more expeditiously.
It was this need for speed which necessitated the removal of the battery leads off the corroded terminals with a hammer and screwdriver and which must be held responsible for the loss of certain component parts of the carburettor.
I would point out that a little more cooperation from the driver (who can only be described as a recalcitrant) would have facilitated the whole operation. This man was even discovered hiding the tools in order to prevent me from carrying out investigations. I can only suppose he was ashamed to allow another troop leader to discover the shocking state to which he had allowed his vehicle to deteriorate.
Eventually, I gave up in disgust, and it was whilst putting down the hammer and screwdriver with which I had been effecting repairs that the hammer slipped from my grasp and cracked the cylinder head. It is ridiculous to assert that I deliberately threw the hammer into the works as has, I believe, been suggested. I, therefore, decided to carry on with my patrol without the offending vehicle, and since I could not spare men to guard it I left it by the roadside and telephoned the L.A.D. from the nearest police post.
I cannot understand how the vehicle came to be without wheels when the L.A.D. arrived, as it definitely had four wheels when I left. I can only suggest that either the L.A.D. stole them to make up their deficiencies (which is a thing I do not like to believe) or that some other troop came by and did ditto (which I can readily believe) or that bandits may have removed them out of spite for the way in which I have continually harassed them of recent weeks. I hesitate to put forward this last theory as it may seem at first sight to hint at self-praise, which, of course, is not intended.
Under the circumstances, I suggest, with all due deference, that the vehicle be written off against the public as an operational loss.
I have the honour to be, Sir,
Your obedient servant,
A.M’stard, Cornet